Never repeat a gag

Off out tonight to rehearse for a celebration of young people's music and drama in the borough of Barnet, which I will be hosting tomorrow evening. Might pick up a few tips of how to be down with the kids.

Spent the day struggling to think of something interesting to give Stanley for his tea, but then you can't be Jamie Oliver every day.

Just been spotted buying frozen pizza in Iceland by the woman from the local dry cleaners. "Don't you cook for your kid? she asked, disappointedly. I replied "You can't be Jamie Oliver every day!" but she didn't find it remotely funny. Never repeat a gag.