RIP Paul Gray

There's a tragedy in every death. The recent demise of the bassist from Slipknot is no exception. But I really have just read a eulogy for the man that mourns "It's a devastating loss. Paul was a wonderful human being... Their extreme stage antics extended to violence against each other and throwing bodily waste."

I spent all day yesterday contributing to a comedy show for BBC Radio 4. This involved playing the guitar along with two songs - that old socialist favourite 'The Red Flag' and 'Ten Fat Sausages Sizzling In A Pan' . Maybe there's an idea there for a concept album of political songs for children.

A journalist friend has just told me that the Americans are having a hard time in Afghanistan differentiating between the local Afghan soldiers and the Taliban they are all fighting, so they've given them luminous green cycle bands to wear over their shoulders so the Americans know not to shoot them. Unfortunately this has also made them very visible to the Taliban snipers... Maybe it would be better if they all just threw bodily waste at each other.

'Willie, Willie, Willie - Out Out Out!'

Had a fantastic day recording nine drum tracks in eight hours. By rights, working that quickly usually means the work isn't any good but Mark is no ordinary drummer. Very very excited by what we've done. Celebrated by hitting town with Mike - we went to our lovely little Italian, but I'm not saying where it is because then it might get ruined by being too popular. Taking that principle further, I realise that I mostly choose to define success by its lack of success. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned here.

Not sure the BA strikers have done themselves any favours by chanting 'We are the champions', after having the ban lifted against their strike action. Are there ever champions in situations like this? Neither was the cause helped by their other misfortunate chant of 'Willie, Willie, Willie - Out Out Out!'.

Peter - our man in the city - has sent me a link to an application form for a new TV talent show looking for the best undiscovered UK music act. I'd be tempted to email for an application, were it not for the nagging idea that I was actually discovered long ago, it's just no-one ever really chose to plant the flag.

30 shaves for a pound

Bought a bag of 30 razors for 99p from one of those bargain stores...

They're totally ruthless. It's like trying to shave with the remains of an old pencil sharpener. I found a single yellow BIC in an old washbag so I used that instead. It was as smooth as an advert. BICs used to be cheap and nasty. When did they become a luxury item?

Just formulating the recording order for tomorrow's studio session at Mike's with Mark the drummer. There's nine songs for him to do between 10am and 6pm. That's one an hour, plus one more snuck in there somewhere. Not including lunch of course. I'm really excited about the day and I've done a lot of work on all the guide tracks so he's got something decent to play to, but it still feels like the first day at school. In a lovely way.

Apparently it's now totally safe to fly through the ash cloud... Profit before safety? Surely not. I'd always prefer to go by train in any case, but I'm still struggling to get the kids' dinosaur dvd theme out of my head from yesterday's journey. "Here he is, Mr Rex, looking for his dinner...." There is a musician like me somewhere who wrote that... Hope they got well paid. But did they ever manage to get it out of their heads? I think I'd still prefer it to hear about Mr Rex than listen to 'Imagine' ever again.

Return of the Ash

Had a good weekend in Isle of Man, but yesterday I became a victim of the ash cloud, whilst trying to come home. Still no planes today, so I took a packed early ferry to Liverpool this morning - I had a window seat with no window and spent 3 hours on the water staring at the inside of what looked like a waiting room. I'm now on a packed virgin train, at a window seat with no window... Clearly I'm not meant to look outside today.

Surrounded by one screaming child whose dad is trying to drown out by playing a dinosaur DVD at a higher volume than the screams, and a couple whose only communication is to snort and sniffle at each other every 30 seconds. The seats are so tightly packed that I can't feel my legs and im not sure that I still believe in the old adage anymore that it's better to travel than to arrive. Today's special is egg and asparagus salad apparently. That might explain the state of the toilet.

I'm sure it wasn't like this under Labour.

27 years...

Just taken the DLR to city airport. It's like being on a toy train at Alton Towers. Amazing to travel through London old and new.

At airport.

A group of 12 very pissed men tanking it in the bar before setting off somewhere for the weekend. Hopefully not the same flight as me... And an armed copper choosing a book from the history section in WH Smith - I'm just relieved it wasn't an Andy McNab. And no piped muzak. Was that the 70s? I kind of miss it...

Reading an incredibly harrowing book about Stephen Downing who was wrongfully jailed - in 1973 - for 27 years for a murder in Derbyshire that he didn't commit... Such a terrible fear - injustice on that level. it's bad enough when you have to sit near 12 drunks at an airport.

Junior Apprentice

Apologies for lack of blogs these last few days. Had my head down recording music. Has anything interesting happened with the government since the weekend?

On Oxford Street I just got trapped behind the Hare Krishnas. I remember the man who used to stand on the corner of Regent St with the placard bearing the benefits of eating more nuts and protein... But what are the Hare Krishnas after, other than the right to walk down Oxford Street wearing orange blouses whilst ringing their little bells?

I'm both loving and appalled by Junior Apprentice. And totally gripped already.

VIP Votes

Just spent half an hour queuing to get into the polling station. I took that to mean either an unprecedented turnout or they hadn't managed to get very well organised....

After eventually making it inside the door I was greeted by a very dour woman who looked at my polling card and said 'No, sorry!' in a particularly annoying manner, then moved onto the person behind me. I bristled and challenged the meaning of her words. She told me I couldn't go straight through but had to continue queueing for another 15 minutes because the name of my road came before J in the alphabet. I had been previously unaware of a privileged VIP voting system for people who lived on roads beginning with letters from L to Z, but meekly accepted my position in the alphabetic underclass and told her that it was a small price to pay for democracy... 

On the voting paper, however, there was no mention of a Keep BBC Radio 6 Music Alive party.

I had to sing an audition song yesterday for a proper west end musical, for a director who had seen my Lenny Smallman Show. I've never done anything like that before and it was an amazing experience. I chose a difficult song with four key changes, but actually went three better than that - and sung it with seven, mainly because I couldn't hear the piano very well. That's why I like singing my own songs best; no-one can tell when you start making up the tune.

Revolutions: Industrial vs. Internet

Something delightfully old fashioned about a Bank Holiday.

It brings up images of black and white charabancs taking mill workers off to the seaside for a day of picnics and debauchery before returning to their harsh industrial lives. Nowadays everything stops apart from, well just about everything. The banks obviously. And schools. And... well... council offices, but that's about it really. And today everything is back to normal.

Meanwhile, we are a couple of days away from deciding on which politicians we want to trust to make all our big decisions for the next few years. I'm still not sure what to do. The parties have all gone very quiet over the whole BBC Radio 6 issue.

In the next century, people will look back on this period of history as the Internet Revolution, in the same way we studied pictures of the Industrial Revolution and tried to imagine a world before machines. They will try to imagine a world before Amazon, Ocado and the ability to download instant pornography.

But will they still get Bank Holidays? I'm not so sure.