Overpriced-man-perfume

In a tube carriage surrounded by eight people: two are sleeping, two are reading papers, three are playing phone games and the man sitting opposite is wearing far too much eye make up.

I am wearing a new expensive scent that I really like. It was an impulsive purchase in the chemist while buying a bulk box of surgical gloves.

Don't ask...

My old eau de toilette had run out a few days ago. The new scent was on offer for 25 quid, down from 39. No one else on the carriage smells this good, as far as I can tell.

You don't hear much about pheromones these days. I'm sure scientists used to go round in the 70s, spraying them on train seats to see if it could help men become more attractive to women. They seemed to belong to an age where Denim was for the man who didn't have to try too hard and High Karate resulted in nubile alpha females fighting over you in the jungle.

As I write this on my phone, the woman sitting next to me has just shifted along to the free seat on the other side of her. Maybe I should have bought some of those pheromones instead of the very overpriced perfume.

Shut off the flow...

Americans have a long tradition of speaking bad film dialogue whenever they get interviewed on the news. The head of the oil fire fighting company currently dealing with the spill off the Gulf of Mexico coast has said "The object of this game is to shut off the flow." That's the sort of bad line you expect Bruce Willis to say.

Are there still British people stranded in airports all over the world? Or are they all back home, trying to deal with bank statements and piles of leaflets offering pizza discounts. I think Gordon's microphone has replaced the volcano as the greatest non-eruption of the past few weeks.

Like almost everybody else, I certainly wouldn't want anyone to record what I say in private, especially after some difficult social experience. That's what being human is all about. We're allowed to be lovely on the outside and totally vile within.

First rule of interviews

First rule of interviews - always remember to take your microphone off. 

Five days without a run and three successive cafe working lunches is not great for the soul. Very hard to resist egg and chips in those places but managed it today by ordering a bowl of minestrone soup. So of course I'm very hungry now.

Apparently the Monster Raving William Hill Loony Party has a policy to introduce 99p coins to save on small change. That's actually quite a good idea. And the New Millennium Bean party wants drunk drivers to be forced to have bright orange cars for 5 years after being convicted.

Marathon Back-up

Shock horror! Junior civil servant in Home Office has sense of humour! Besides, how appalling it is that someone should suggest it would be a good idea for the Pope to go about "sacking dodgy bishops". 

Went to watch the London Marathon yesterday. The other side of the road had few spectators, so I crossed over in time to see the elite men speed through like alien bullets. Then overheard someone next to me say to their friend they should cross back before the mass runners arrived otherwise they'd "never make it back to the tube". Good job I took their advice. Another five minutes, and I'd still be trying to get home from Rotherhithe...

Starting to get nervous about the amount of music I've recorded for the album, all now sitting on one drive. Just bought another to back it up, but keep putting off the transfer as those things often tend to go horribly wrong and usually end up with me accidentally wiping everything. I might need help.

Ashes to ashes

Bizarre twist to yesterday's funeral. The car carrying Gid's coffin was involved in a crash on the way to the service. The driver was hospitalised with whiplash and a replacement hearse had to be found, delaying the service by an hour or so. Perhaps it's not just life that happens when you're panning other things, but death gets a look-in too. I have a long history of providing music for special occasions but I don't think

I've had one of my songs played at a funeral before. Two young members of Gid's family played and sang a beautiful version of Ain't Gonna Hold Your Hand No More, which threw a completely new light on the words. And now I just received a beautiful handwritten card from a dear friend - the picture on the front says 'Enjoy Life', which is probably not too wide of the mark. A handwritten card will always be more precious than an email because of the effort and delayed time involved. Isn't there a Ghandi quote about there being more to life than increasing its speed?

Okay, that's quite enough of other people's quotes for one day.

Westminster's Got Talent

Still suffering listening to Prefab Sprout from the 1980s. I can still remembering borrowing Swoon from Bakewell library and hearing it for the first time. Didn't get it at all. Didn't get it so much that had to play it all again straight away. Then again straight after. After the third listen I started to understand that this was a record that I would be listening to for a long, long time. Probably for the rest of my life. It still sounds like I'm hearing that first day. A sonic explosion from the past, where all your teenage ghosts come back to haunt...

A builder working next door [who already seems to spend a lot of time chatting on his phone outside the front door] has just asked if he can borrow a drill... I asked if his has broken. He said he doesn't have one. Isn't that like a taxi driver not having a car? 

Watched three men on television last night, all of them begging for public votes. Not sure the title was very catchy though. Westminster's Got Talent has a much better ring to it.

Happily heading into town to have lunch with a work colleague. Things to discuss. Then back for friends' arrival to prepare for their third close funeral in two years. That has to be pushing it on the unlucky front.

David Lynch and Limoges...

It's about this time of year that I always wish I was doing the London Marathon. Trouble is, I'd only be able to do 5 miles and then have to stop, which means I'd barely get out of Woolwich.

Apparently someone has just tried to attack John Prescott wearing a John Prescott mask. That sounds like a David Lynch scene and has to do well on Youtube. Malcolm McLaren's family asked fans to celebrate his funeral cortege today with 'a minute of mayhem...' Maybe John Prescott used to be a Pistols fan?

The new album is coming on nicely. I now have all 14 songs recorded as guide tracks with rough vocals, ready for Mark's live drums on at least 6 of the songs. We're set to record those on May 19th at Mike's studio and then I can do the proper vocals and the rest of the arrangements.

Listening to Prefab's Sprout first single - Lions In My Own Garden [Exit Someone] - from 1982, and still blown away by it. Paddy McAloon wrote it about a girl who left him to go to Limoges, hence the title. I've never been to Limoges but thought it always sounded incredibly exotic, like most places in the world that you never get to see. Sometimes life feels way too short. And there are all kinds of marathons that don't involve running...

The morning after the morning after the night before...

Still recovering from a night out two days ago!

Something fantastic and awful about getting into bed when the birds are singing, knowing you have to be up in an hour or so for a dentist check- up you should never have made and can't afford to cancel. 

Sat bleary-eyed in the dentist's chair trying not to breathe alcohol fumes over the lovely Croatian hygienist. Nothing going wrong on the dental front, I'm pleased to say. And I don't think there's a lot she can do about red wine lips. I suddenly became very thirsty and almost drank the pink juice.

The planes seem to have started flying again. As have the eggs. Footballers are not happy about having to sit on a coach. Wonder what the traveling fans make of that?

Monday rhythm and blues

Off into town in a good suit for a night out. Just seen a man on the tube carrying an ironing board...

I don't like being a 'customer' on the tube. Feel mildly insulted not to be regarded as a passenger.

Walking along the south bank. Still in love with London. And still feeling great affection for the song I recorded yesterday... It must be love.

Premiership Race

Anyone would think the race for the premiership was still open. That late goal by Nick Clegg, and Brown dropping points away... I tell you, it's going to go right down to the very last day.

Spent a late night recording a short opening track for the new album which I came up with yesterday. It's like falling in love all over again. I keep listening to it, like a new friend I can't get enough of. And that's okay because soon I will listen to it and hear all its faults, how clearly derivative it is of something else and how I can't write songs to save my life. But as of this moment I think it's one of the best things I've done. And in 24 hours the love affair will be over.

Still no planes in the sky.

Shouldn't we be congratulating our scientists and saying thank you to them for being so diligent in spotting the danger from the ash clouds and saving thousands of passengers' lives?

Some of your planes won't go up

Jilly - even though she is now working for someone else - proves she still has her eye on the ball by pointing out that she couldn't find any reference to the 79 rules of engagement I mentioned yesterday on google. I was of course referring to the 76 rules of engagement that the political parties all agreed to prior to the first TV debate. Who needs 79 rules in any case? That would just be ridiculous. The last 3, which they obviously dropped, were only to do with who makes the tea, if it comes in cups or mugs and whether biscuits would be provided before or afterwards.

I know I should go out for a run now but I don't want to. I'd much rather just sit here doing this. Is that a good enough reason not to go? I know I'd feel better for some exercise. And I'm gradually coming to the conclusion that you only get to feel good in life after it's hurt somewhere along the way.

Peter St Clare - our man in Cannes, who is out there to try and get some interest in the Lenny Smallman Music Show, is possibly stuck because of the volcano. Some of your planes won't go up.

79 Rules of Soundproofing

Another day with no aeroplanes due to the cloud of volcanic ash. Thousands of people are stuck at airports trying to get somewhere, meanwhile a handful of songwriters who can't afford soundproofing at home are rejoicing in the ability to record without the noise of planes flying over. Now if only there is a way to stop the cars and buses for a day or so...

I watched the election debate last night after reading the 79 Rules of Engagement. I think every relationship should start out with rules of engagement, which might make everything much simpler. If you mess me up I reserve the right to sing about it for many years to come... 

Simon has emailed two gorgeous piano tracks from Australia for a couple of songs for the new album. His playing on 50 Summers is so beautiful. 

At work we were talking about the usual nonsense about girls, music and football when Josh suddenly went all Aristotle and came out with: 'The evolution of man will result in its own destruction...' Maybe I should be slightly more worried about the cloud of volcanic ash.

Volcanic Freak-Out

I've yet to see the cloud of volcanic ash from iceland that has apparently closed most of our airports...

Spent a nervous hour worrying about a tingling pain in my arm, only to discover a live fly stuck inside my sleeve. Had to stop myself from publicly ripping off my shirt in a totally freaked out kind of way.

Just had an email from Simon in Australia. He's sending over the piano parts for two new songs for the album. Can't wait to hear them later.

Tonka-tastic

The road is being resurfaced outside my house at night. Sounds of constantly reversing lorries from 11pm to 5 am. And I feel like a kid looking out of my window on a magical Tonka toy world. 

Have worked on the guide tracks to the 14 songs I'm recording for new album. Doing a lot of recording at night to the backdrop of reversing lorries. 

Meanwhile the politicians have all gone into 'vote for me because I'm better than them' mode. Something very depressing about a build up to an election. 

Keep Music Live

Just came back from a good long run. Along the way I passed one mitten, a kid's jacket, a kagool, a small pair of leggings, a ladies shoe with a broken heel, a wellington boot and a pair of old knickers. That's almost a whole outfit. Which reminded me of a fancy dress party I once went to as a cowboy, only to find out when I got there that the fancy-dress aspect of the party had been cancelled and no-one had told me. I managed to lose the hat but there was no disguising the tassle waistcoat and the homemade spurs glued to the back of the boots for the rest of the evening.

Just set up a recording date next month to record the drums for a new album of songs I've been working on. Really looking forward to it already. I've recorded the guide backing tracks for Mark [the drummer] to play along to and will record the rest of the parts when the drums are done after the 19th May. Be much cheaper to use sampled drums, but desperately trying to adhere to the old 'Keep Music Live' sticker on the back of one of my guitar amps. I had to tear off the 'Home Taping Is Killing Music' because it's the only way I can afford to record songs these days. 

Just rediscovering my old lost Teenage Fanclub records [bought the CDs cheap in Fopp last week]. About to rediscover The Sundays too...

RIP Malcolm McLaren

Something quite shocking about the death of Malcolm McLaren... I preferred the new wave that came directly after punk, but can remember the amazing, terrifying effect that the sex pistols had at the time. And I loved pogo-ing to friggin' in the riggin' which was about as anarchic as it got at the local teenage village disco... He couldn't play an instrument but knew how to form a band..... Rest in Noise.

Just spent a fortune in Fopp records. Too many bargain CDs at £3 that I always really really wanted... Or did I?

Now cutting a fine dash wearing shorts and sandals indoors for the first time this year.

Song: Easter

Good old Friday

Just like old times. Spent a lovely day working on the next album. Recorded some guitar tracks and guide vocals on Sleep With You Tonight, Roundabout & Forgotten When You're Gone. Emailed a couple of guide tracks over to Simon in Australia because I think he'll play the piano parts much better than me. I used to spend most of my days just doing this. Lovely to get back to playing music again.

Also gone 4 days now without having any alcohol. Obviously that was more to do with going into spasms every time I opened my mouth than self discipline, but it still feels like an achievement.

When I get a track finished I'm going to upload it here for a couple of days in unmixed form as a kind of tease to the three of you out there who will buy it....

Hand-delivered culinary normality

Just emerging from the spectre of yesterday's bug and starting to fancy some food again that doesn't need to be eaten with a straw.

I expect we've all got our own journey back to culinary normality. My first 24 hours starts with water, slowly moves onto black tea, then heinz tomato soup and finally a hard-boiled egg on toast. Give it another couple of hours and it'll be dressed crab with riesling followed by a platter of red meat and a bottle of port.

Putting off a trip to the post office. I could hand-deliver most of the parcels in the time it takes to queue.