Look away now...
Tax-deductible Houmous
I just got very wet in the rain and changed my trousers for an old pair of jeans. Not only are they a bit tight but I've just now realised they have a hole in the crotch. Must remember to sit cross legged for the rest of the day.
Jilly has been offered the TV job she really wanted. Delighted for her - she deserves it. This will now be a huge test of character for her. Does she accept the offer or continue slaving away for free with us? I know what I would do... There is a third way of course. Which is going to require plenty of houmous and red wine, all of which of course is tax deductable.
Virtual Regrets
That extra hour makes it harder getting up. Plus the fact that the council have recently replaced all the street lamps in my road and I've now got a nuclear flare outside my window that you could see from the moon. I can't sleep unless it's dark and I fear I'm now going to need alpine shutters or at least some of those blinds they used in the blitz.
There's still a huge black stain on my rug from yesterday. Tried geting it out with newspaper and a hot iron, stain remover etc, but nothing worked. So I've turned the rug around and now the stain is in the opposite corner of the rug, which somehow feels like an improvement.
A friend at work has suggested a new app for the iPhone: a sensor detects if there's too much alcohol in the bloodstream and then stops all texts, emails and purchases made under the influence. That would prevent the dreadful feeling that comes with waking up and instantly experiencing the previous evening's online activity. Virtual Regrets. We've had a few...
Desert Island Discs - Rock & Roll...
For some reason people are picking up on 'Some of Your Planes'. Apparently it was played on BBC Radio 4 this morning. Isn't that the radio station for older people? Anyone would think I wasn't hip and happening...
Apologies for the lack of blog yesterday - things got a little heavy rehearsing for the evening's show and I was unable to string a sentence together. Mungo's brother Adrian broke into Mungo's shed and brought the 8 foot paddle into town in time for the performance.
The show went fine, in case you're wondering. Although I nearly didn't find the paddle in time because it had been moved from the place where I set it. I also forgot the words to one of my songs but managed to make up some nonsense that fitted the tune, and even rhymed. No-one ever listens to the lyrics in any case. A good tune is all you need. I'm starting to realise that the rest can be 'sha-la-la' for all it's worth. Mungo lost his own body weight in sweat having to operate the sound and lights.
Jilly's TV job interview went well this week, I'm unhappy to say. But I managed to bribe her to maybe stick around with us after the show last night with some red wine and a pork pie, forgetting momentarily she is a vegetarian. It was lovely to see Peter - our man in the city - who clearly has his finger in many pies at the moment, but sadly he couldn't make it back after the show to share in the pork.
Just tidying away all the kit from the show last night and have just knelt down on the black make up stick that gets used in the big finale. There is now a massive oily black stain on the rug in my room which wont come out. I've also managed to get it all over my clothes.
Rock & roll...
11:00
Mungo's mixing...
Looked out of my window this morning. The first thing I saw was a frisbee on the roof of a house. Something about it reminded me of childhood.
Just restrung my red guitar for the show tomorrow night. Feeling a little apprehensive. Mungo has 'borrowed' a 16 channel mixing desk from our mate who is a genius at sound. We only need three channels. And Mungo doesn't even know how to work those....
Jilly - who does our website and keeps us connected with the hip generation just a few years beneath us - has a meeting for a new job this afternoon. Be fantastic if she gets it, but then she might find it harder working with us for free... Have to be very, very very nice to her...
Bins
I'm always confused about my feelings towards people who paint their house number on their bins. The bin was free, so why get so possessive about it? Also, why would someone nick it? And if they did, you just get given another... On the other hand it makes it much easier to sort after the bin men have scattered them liberally across the pavements on collection days.
Is Bin Men sexist? I don't think Ive ever seen a Bin Woman. The bins would probably be left a lot tidier on the street if there were.
The early Babybird catches the worm...
Loving the new Babybird album.
Obviously my early start today prevented me from furthering my relationship with the Speechless Girl. I have her pen here. Yes I know I already have a good relationship with someone. Does this make me a bad person?
Parental plums
On the way to school, passed by the Speechless Girl who I've not spotted for a week or so. Wondered if she's missed me. She was wearing a grey coat, black leggings and bright lipstick and was bending down to find something in her bag. We didn't say a word to each other, true to the rules of our relationship.
On the way back from school I found a pen just where the speechless girl had been crouching. A green pental. Is it hers? Is this my way in? If I go up to her in the next week or two and say 'I think I found your pen', will it make me look attractive - or slightly pervy and sad? I think I just answered my own question.
Off to rehearsals with Mungo for the show this weekend. Should be learning words instead of writing this. I can feel a green pen burning a hole in my pocket...
Amazon Gaga
Rehearsing today for the LS show were doing at the weekend. First time we're doing it since putting it on at the Arts Theatre in London a year or two ago. Hoping Mungo shows up today. Not seen him for a while...
Finding it really annoying that Amazon insist on sending out junk email "based on items you have viewed" every morning.
Can't work out if Lady Gaga is sex on legs or just an extremely ordinary girl in stupid clothes. It all depends on mood doesn't it...
Jam
Ate a jam doughnut for the first time in years.
Off out for dinner with friends. Just need to find a good shirt in the wardrobe that isn't covered in jam.
Homelife: Waking up to the cheery sound of builders whistling...
Enjoyed hosting the charity gig last night. The Deputy Mayor was there but I introduced him onstage incorrectly as his name was misprinted on my sheet. He wasn't too happy about it. I said I was nervous now that suddenly my council tax bill was about to rocket up.
I keep getting phone calls from fax machines and recorded requests to buy insurance. Who actually thought that was a good idea? Does anyone buy insurance from an answerphone? I suppose they do, otherwise it wouldn't happen. And the public gets what the public wants....
Wendy Toye
We are known among the stars by our poems, not our corpses.
Enjoyed a chaotic rehearsal last night for the show I am hosting this evening to celebrate music and drama by young people in the borough of Barnet. 'Young People' is one of those phrases that makes you feel sick when it's said by a politician. Must remember not to say it myself tonight.
Just watched a fleet of council bin lorries heading out somewhere, which somehow poetically captures the spirit of today.
Never repeat a gag
Spent the day struggling to think of something interesting to give Stanley for his tea, but then you can't be Jamie Oliver every day.
Just been spotted buying frozen pizza in Iceland by the woman from the local dry cleaners. "Don't you cook for your kid? she asked, disappointedly. I replied "You can't be Jamie Oliver every day!" but she didn't find it remotely funny. Never repeat a gag.
Practise, perfect and master
A filling just fell out of one of my back teeth! What?! That shouldn't be happening. My teeth and hair both need repair... I blame the hot soup.
Just realised that today's blog pretty much condenses Keats' entire collection of poetry in three lines. Must stop knocking back the opium during the longer evenings.
An eternal optimist?
Stanley just asked me if I can take him to see David Cameron's Avatar. So that's why they're all blue.
Always loved Sunday nights, loved the possibilities that a new week can bring. Does that make me an eternal optimist? Or someone who is just always pissed off that last week was never very good...
Tomato-related injuries
I'm supposed to be recording backing vocals on my new ukulele track this afternoon, but my tongue injury is making me sound most unfortunate on playback.
Been working on the new version of The Fall & Rise of LS, which I'm going to be performing in two weeks time at the London School of Musical Theatre. Two weeks isn't very long and there's quite a lot still to do, like rehearse it.... But hopefully the tongue injury will have subsided by then.
Ukulele and wine...
Matt - the bass player in the Lenny Smallman band - was on Masterchef last night. I didn't know he could cook. Have to get myself invited round for dinner. Not sure about his chilli chocolate jam coullis though.... And the girl that narrates it sounds like a man that's taken oestrogen pills.
Lisa is taking Stanley out. No night out for me tonight. No sirreebob. I'm staying in to play my new ukulele and not drinking any wine whatsoever.
Pure Floyd
I have already offered EMI my back catalogue to compensate for their loss.
My nostril shaving wound has healed nicely. Peter, our man in the city, sent me his sympathies having just endured a similar injury to his scrotum... This has opened up another huge can of worms as I have always refused to wax, and I am currently working out my position on the remaining options.
Large Hadron Curry
I see the Large Hadron Collider in Cern has been shut down again, much to the delight of the press. We love our mad scientists don't we, especially when it all goes wrong.
Off out for a curry with Sean who is going to direct the tv music show we are looking to get off the ground. Any good recommendations of curry houses in Paddington?
If it wasn't for those pesky...
Is it just me, or did the whole Oscars coverage start to get a bit ridiculous this year. Maybe it was to take our mind off the footballers and Facebook reprobates... [And nothing to do with the fact I fell asleep in front of it, obviously.]
You can't move at the tills of my local Budgens for Easter eggs. Thousands of them. What obesity crisis?!!
Oscar Dribble
Strange word 'partner', something wild west about it. Never quite know what to use. Definitely not 'wife'. I still like 'girlfriend' which feels quaintly romantic. 'Spouse' - no no.... 'Mother of my child' - whilst being true, just sounds cold.
Saw the beautiful speechless girl again today after taking Stanley to school. Unfortunately I was still wearing the dribble shirt. Probably a good job we didn't start communicating wildly this morning, what with one thing and another.
Dangerous ground.
Me, myself and the brave
I'm going to see how much I can take of the Oscars tonight. Just in case the Morris film gets a mention or the stage is suddenly stormed by beardy men with hankies demanding that it be given an American release. There's still time for action. we just need to mobilize the forces. If you're reading this, rise up and shake those bells.
Loving my advance copy of Trafik's new album 'None But The Brave'. Electronic club music with a twist.
Mojito Night Bus
After the first two mojitos the night just slipped away. Couldn't find a taxi home, and a night bus appeared beside me as if by magic, although I didn't join in with the singing. Should have gone for a run this morning but that was never going to happen.
Saw the beautiful speechless girl heading into Budgens. So she doesn't work Saturdays... At what point does regularly noticing someone you've never spoken become stalking? It's a fine line... It's probably a good job my partner doesn't read these blogs. Or maybe she does and doesn't let on. And with that thought I can feel a whole can of worms about to open.
Apparently Easter Eggs are smaller this year and contain less packaging. Amazing the facts you pick up from nowhere. I've tried to develop expensive tastes but you still can't beat cheap chocolate.
Eye-Pods
Yesterday's meeting with the producer went rather well. Her office has a fantastic view of London's South Bank. But I couldn't help notice that one of the pods in the London Eye has fallen out. When did that happen? Did it roll down towards County Hall or just splash into the Thames? Maybe if John Terry had been inside it it would have made it into the press. But only if he'd been with Cheryl Cole at the time. Now there's a story!
Think I might stay up for the Oscars on Sunday. I wrote the music for a feature film about morris music last year, but I'm pretty sure it hasn't been nominated. Although there's still time....
Five long days...
Maybe it's because I've been waiting to say hello to the young woman I've been walking past in the mornings for the last two years and my body thinks it's heading into flirtation mode - which it isn't. Or am I protesting about this just a little too much?
Unicycle
Just met up with Mungo. He wants to put that musical play we did a while ago on again for one performance. Personally I can't see how that's going to make back any of the money we lost. Unless we manage to sell ten tickets at five & a half grand each.
The Travis Bickle school of consolation
Nice day for a Welsh wedding
Just returned from Wales after playing the music at a friend's wedding. This is the 7th time I've played at a friend's wedding, although it's the first time i've been asked to play someone else's song. Maybe I'm losing my touch? Although to be fair the omens for the relationships are pretty good; out of all those seven marriages five are still intact, although one of them is still trying to survive the revelation that the wife was recently discovered to be a fan of dogging in the Basingstoke area.